The last first day

Today was my last first day of school! At least for this master’s program…. I seemingly always come back to more courses, more school, more learning. And even if it really is my last first formal day of classes, I want to always be open to learning.

Today was bizarre; I only had 1 class. It was quick and relatively painless; Im looking forward to the class. It’s an elective on Dysphagia (the process of swallowing food) and I’m excited (maybe not about having to follow a pureed diet for 24 hours… but thats another opportunity that I will surely be sharing).

Even though Im no longer in India, I feel my heart still is. Waking up without anyone around is weird. Weird in an unsettling, where the hell am I, kind of way. Im still not sleeping (haha… like this is a surprise) through the night, and at this point, I  feel like I probably wont ever again.

I saw a few of my friends today, and when they ask how India was… I just.. cant put it into words. And I dont really want to. I miss my little splinting kiddo so desperately my heart aches, and really, just everyone there. My OT friends there said that she came looking for me at dinner the night after we left, and was sad when she didnt see me… Cue me crying as I was trying to get off the plane in Montreal.

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Look at how TINY her little hands are!!! Such a cutie. 

Its a tough transition back to Montreal life, and it feels so incredibly selfish and indulgent to be here, living alone, buying more groceries than I probably need, savouring my hot water showers… I have a lot of reflecting and emotional unpacking to do in the upcoming months.

Ouffff.

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